Tools for Dividing Chores With Your Husband

Communication

• Nagging and complaining about household chores may build animosity in a marriage by calling attention to concerns in a negative way. A lack of communication also creates friction by suppressing resentments your partner is unaware of. Create the opportunity for open and respectful communication about household responsibilities. Listen to each other, treating the issue as a collaborative experience rather than a way to blame and belittle each other.

Consider Overall Contribution

• When deciding how to divide household chores, couples should consider the overall contribution to the family rather than just cleaning chores. If one spouse works full time outside the home, he won't have as much time left to cook, clean and organize the household. This doesn't mean he shouldn't help at all, but that his chores should reflect the time he can reasonably spare. It also helps to consider other aspects of life as part of the household responsibilities. Evaluate the efforts of your husband as a whole, placing value on his efforts in the yard, maintenance of cars and appliances or organization of funds.

Preferences

• It helps to divide chores according to the preferences of each family member. While some people enjoy doing laundry, others prefer vacuuming. When communicating about chore expectations in the household, let your partner express which chores he minds the least. You may find that you have different preferences, allowing for an amicable decision process. You should also consider the particulars of various chores since some people have specific ways for completing household duties. If your husband has a personal strategy for washing dishes, hand over the scrubber.

Lists and Games

• After deciding on a fair division of chores, some fail to follow through on the agreement. Keeping a checklist of chores posted in the household serves as a reminder for your spouse and a tool for accountability. Creating a list of the many household duties will also show your husband the amount of work required for maintaining the home. To lighten the load and mood surrounding chores, play some cleaning games with your husband. You might pick chores from a hat or time each other to see who completes the work first.