Run a vacuum cleaner across the surface of the floor, sucking up any dust and debris. Mix 1/4-cup trisodium phosphate with 1 gallon of water in a bucket. Dip a mop into the mixture and swab down the floor. Allow it to air-dry.
Place a piece of 150-grit sandpaper onto the bottom of an electric sander. Run the sander lightly across the surface of the floor, opening the surface to accept the paint. Vacuum up any sanding residue.
Pour a light-colored paint into a paint roller pan. This will serve as the base color for your faux wood floor. Dip a paint roller into the paint and apply the color to the floor, covering it in nice, even strokes. Allow it to dry overnight.
Cover the floor with wood stencils -- available from a craft or home improvement store -- and secure them with painter's tape. Spray the stencils in place slowly with oil-based spray paint. This is how you will create the wood grain lines in your faux wood floor.
Remove the stencils and allow the paint to dry overnight.
Pour clear polyurethane into a paint roller pan and dip a clean paint roller into the substance. Roll a light layer of clear polyurethane over the faux wood grain. Allow it 24 hours to dry then apply a second coat, giving it another 24 hours to dry.