Unscrew your cabinet doors and lay them flat on a drop cloth.
Sand the finish lightly. Don't completely strip the surface -- just roughen it up so that your primer will adhere.
Paint a layer of latex primer and wait for it to dry, then do the same with a coat of latex paint.
Spatter a darker shade of latex paint onto the cabinetry by flicking it off your paintbrush.
Scratch the cabinetry very lightly with some old keys. Do not cut too deep and gouge the wood -- scratch just hard enough to remove some paint.
Strike the cabinetry with a chain to cause light damage and distress marks to the finish.
Sand the cabinetry lightly near natural distress points, like around the hardware and molding.
Give the cabinetry two coats of polyurethane, allowing it to dry between coats. This seals the cabinetry and makes it smooth.
Reattach your cabinet doors.